Jessica's mother recently passed and I had the lovely experience to share a few words from her to Jess. Jessica's beautiful and healing blog chronicles her path to healing. I've posted her blog here with a link below to continue the journey with her. Thank you Jess for your courage and willingness to love unconditionally and share your journey.
There’s Nothing False-ies About This… BY JESSICA ROBB
"I’ve been wanting to get a tattoo in honor of my Mother for months now. She always loved the one I got on my foot for my Nana and she always projected out thinly veiled jealousy that her name wasn’t on the other foot.
I’ve toyed around with so many different ideas and placements for months but nothing has felt right. Then one day I saw a picture of a tattoo on Instagram from @jonboytattoo (http://www.west4tattoo.com/) of the most graceful and lovely eyelashes. (Bear with me, now…..)
When I saw it, I instantly felt a rush of energy come coursing through my body- that was the one. I knew because my Mother adored false eyelashes. They were the ultimate representation of her femininity. My Mother was a pro at being a woman. She was the tan, lithe, frantic and Italian version of Marilyn Monroe. She knew exactly what she was doing when she walked into a room- starting with the way she prepared to enter it. She never made an entrance without falsies. Why bother, darling? The look would fall flat.
The night before she passed, she had been on a date with my Step Dad and applied them and rocked them all evening. She wore all white that night down to her shoes and spent hours on her hair and makeup. Early the next morning, she passed away in her sleep with her false eyelashes and all her makeup on. She never did that. She never fell asleep in her makeup because it would ‘wreak havoc on your skin’. My Aunt told me it was like she did her makeup for her own funeral. That bitch somehow managed to look beautiful even after her soul departed her body. Only Valage.
When I found the picture of that tattoo, I called my cousin Jorie and told her that we should get matching ones for Mom and she agreed. She also mentioned that all that day she had been thinking she wanted to get matching tattoos but wasn’t sure why or what or where that thought came from. Apparently, the triangulated energy between the three of us was undeniable that day. The matching tattoo idea grew bigger when Jorie’s Mom and sister decided that they wanted them as well. So did my 88 year old Nana. A plan was in the works and I would find out later that day that Mom had something to say about it.
After the conversation with Jorie I went about my day and I thought the eyelash discussion was over for the time being since we had made plans. About 3 hours later I received a call from my friend Monique who lives in Bali. It’s always hard to navigate the time change between us so I am always grateful when she tries me and we can connect. I know it’s never an accident when she calls because she’s like a butterfly- she can sense the smallest shift in atmosphere and energy on my part and always calls with the perfect timing. She is also an incredibly gifted Healer and does very profound intuitive readings. You can check her out here and I suggest you do.
As we were chatting and catching up on life, she mentioned to me that my Mom was coming through very strongly so she asked if I would like her to tune in to the energy. I agreed wholeheartedly. We had about a 10 minute conversation about Mom and she conveyed some pretty powerful information and then we switched topics and started gabbing about life and catching up on the details of our lives.
About 30 minutes later Monique says to me “Your Mom has been trying to get me to send you a screenshot of my desktop since we started talking. I’m going to send you this screenshot. It doesn’t mean anything to me so see if something resonates with you. She’s been begging me and she is relentless”.
She sent me an email with the screenshot and when I opened it what I saw made my body fire up with energy. My skin tingled, I got a rush of adrenaline and I shot back out of the chair in my office and instantly started crying. I couldn’t even control myself to tell her what was going on.
It was eyelashes.
Big, bold and beautiful eyelashes. Monique had paused her Hulu program to speak to me and the ad on the screen was for a lash boosting mascara. The picture at that particular moment in the frame was a close up on the singer, P!nk, and her eyes and eyelashes and the she was looking up towards the sky. Monique was not aware of the tattoo plan formulated earlier that day-she had no idea why Mom was so insistent on sending a picture of her desktop. I was speechless. I had drawn the tattoo on my wrist with a ballpoint pen earlier in the day so as I saw the screenshot I also saw hand drawn eyelashes on my wrist. She was also not aware of the fact that my Mom and I shared a few interviews of P!nk with one another and had talked at length about what a badass she was. She thought she had a warrior-goddess vibe and she absolutely adored her.
I’ve felt this same feeling a few times since she’s passed. I have had undeniable clues that she’s ever present and listening. This one was so powerful because I haven’t felt her around the past few months and I was starting to feel like she was gone. I was terrified. I had asked her a few days back to give me signs in the physical world that she was still with me and I got incredibly disheartened when nothing was smacking me across the face. In reality, I was probably too busy looking for them that I didn’t notice them at all. This one I couldn’t avoid.
The next day Monique reached out to me again and mentioned that my Mom wouldn’t leave her alone all night about the placement of the tattoo. (I tried to warn her that now that Mom had an audience she probably would never get much sleep again.) If you knew my Mom, you know that when she sat on unspoken words it made her steam up like a tea kettle. She’d start as a slow whistle and then if nobody would pay her any mind she’d break the sound barrier. Monique- you may want to consider ear plugs.
I was going to get the tattoo on the inside of my left wrist. Monique said that my Mom wanted it on the back of one of my shoulder blades. The reason for this is because the wrist is one of the most visible places on my body…for ME to see. She didn’t want me to look down all day and constantly be reminded of my loss and bring myself backward into moments of sadness and grief. She wanted me to move forward, move up towards lighter days. Plus wrist tattoos were ‘tired’. A very Valage word for passe. My Mother always encouraged me to soar, to set my ceilings impossibly high so that I would always have room to ascend.
I now have plans to get those dainty little eyelashes on the back of my left shoulder where she can always guard my heart and watch my back. I always used to say that she and I would walk into any room like emotional Charlie’s Angels. Back-to-back, guns at the ready making sure neither of us ever had a blindside. It’s now more true than ever.
I will lay down to sleep with a big smile and a warm heart tonight because I know that all the times I heard her like a whisper in my mind- she was there. All the times I felt a breeze on a still day move the hairs on my face-she was with me.
She’s listening, she’s got my back and more importantly, she still has her falsies on."
*Follow Jessica's journey at www.thelovelyvaloriejen.com